


Peach Water

by tennisuhs



Series: Piano Forte's universe [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU College, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Time Skips, a lot of swearing, also they swear a lot, pinning, this happen in the same universe as piano forte, underage drinkng (for like a second there)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-28 19:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tennisuhs/pseuds/tennisuhs
Summary: Yukhei has a crush on the boy he sees at the campus cafeteria. For a year now, he had been watching from a distance, because that's not creepy at all.But, one cold day of autumn, the boy stands in front of Yukhei with a proposition.





	Peach Water

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vvhymack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvhymack/gifts).



> so hey! okay this is my mediocre contribution to the nation i hope you all enjoy!
> 
> few things however:  
> -yukhei ran away from home and had to skip a year of college, that's why he is in the same year as the 00 liners  
> -mark took a year off and enrolled with donghyuck

“So, it’s settled.” His voice was slightly nasal, Yukhei noted. Always hearing him muffled by other students, it struck as endearing when he spoke directly at Yukhei. Obviously.

“Sure, um, what’s your name again?” His fingers wobbly danced hovering the phone screen, only the surname had been typed certainly.

“Lee Donghyuck,” the smaller replied, lips tugging into a smile, eyes flying to peek over the other’s phone. “Put a sun emoji after it, everyone does.”

-

Donghyuck thought Mark was going to pull a muscle if he didn’t lower his eyebrows already and as much as it would be hilarious, the younger cared for the other so he shrugged and deadpanned a “What?”

“You really only function out of spite, don’t you?” Mark said incredulously, finally lowering the damn eyebrow to focus on his half eaten croissant.

“We made a bet and I won. What of it?” Donghyuck went back to his own lunch, going to take a sip of his mocha.

“No, the bet was you telling that puppy looking boy that you like him.” He was rubbing his temple slowly, wondering how he got to this moment in time. Of course he couldn’t make deals with a Gemini.

“And you said, and I quote, ‘Y‘eah, okay, bet! And if he says yes I’m going to ask his friend out’.’ What was his name again?” Donghyuck put his finger on his lips, pretending to think long and hard about a word he just heard. “Oh yeah, Renjun.”

Mark slumped on the table at the last word, hitting himself on the head because when he wanted to be dramatic, he was ready to risk his last few brain cells apparently.

“Why do you make everything sound like I’ve stolen the crown jewels, or something?” Donghyuck sighed, shoving his notebook into his bag. “I asked Yukhei to tutor me, he agreed and now I’ll see him every two days. I mentioned your obvious crush on his friend, and he gave you his number. Everyone wins.”

And with that, he was slinging the backpack onto his shoulder and waving his friend bye with a “Loosen up, Markimoo. I scored you a date, you should be thanking me. In fact, next coffee is on you!” and then he was skipping backwards to the exit, radiant smile on his face as he rushed to first period.

Donghyuck would never admit to the tremors of his knees that never got to travel up his voice, and how there was cold sweat pooling on his waistband as he had looked up to those big brown eyes. But, he was Lee Donghyuck, saying no to a bet had not been programed into his hardware.

-

There was no time to worry about his looks, the house was a mess. And that was already weird in itself, but then he remembered how Kun hadn’t spent the weekend there and okay, Yukhei was an absolute dumbfuck for setting the date on the same day.

He almost tripped on a discarded towel on his way to the laundry basket from his room, but everything was fine, he was not going to break his neck hours before the sweet apple of his eyes knocked on his door. Not a chance.

Yukhei ran a huge to do list in his brain that covered from clothes, to mopping, to perfume, to washing the dishes from last night’s baking session, a result of yet another breakdown.

Luckily, he crossed everything out by the time there was a knock on the door, just after he had lit the candle by the front door. The surprise on the other’s face when the door opened immediately was comical, the boy blinking at the host.

“Hi! Come in.” greeted Yukhei a beat too late.

“Were you waiting on the other side of the door?” Donghyuck asked, tugging off his jacket as he stepped in.

“No, just lighting a candle.” Hand gesturing at the aforementioned item, Yukhei took Donghyuck’s outerwear and hung it before leading him in.

Donghyuck commented on the smell under his breath, while looking around. Suddenly every single spot that had not been cleaned struck like a black eye for Yukhei who trailed behind Donghyuck, unsure when or how to offer the other anything to drink or eat.

“So uh, we are doing this here, or?” Donghyuck started, rosy cheeks appeared out of nowhere like the first blooming flower of spring and Yukhei had to make sure his entire being knew how to function.

There was so much to learn from the other still, and finding out that the bare demonstration of flushness in the boy’s face made Yukhei feel weak was not a good sign.

“Oh, yeah I mean, if you want we can go to the kitchen, or my room.” Only when the words were out, he realized the weight behind them. “To study. In my room. For studying purposes.” His palms rose as if defending himself.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here.” Donghyuck said with a slow nod. Good Lord that was awkward.

One might think of Yukhei as an extrovert, outgoing, free spirited boy, and fair enough he could be like that in a room filled with people. But face to face with such a cute boy, alone in a big apartment, he could feel his heart packing its things and leaving, unsure how to deal with the entire situation.

Maybe that was the right time. “I baked something last night!” Yukhei blurted out, making Donghyuck avert his gaze from the piano in the living room back to him. “It’s just a green tea matcha cake, we can eat that while we go over what you already know. If you want?” he proposed, fingers fumbling and tangling with each other.

“I’d love that.” Donghyuck’s eyes turned into crescents and Yukhei turned into pudding. Chuckling softly as he led the other to the kitchen.

The plates were put on the small isle, stools shyly peeking out from under it and huffing in protest when Donghyuck sat down, following Yukhei around with his big brown eyes. Small thank yous were thrown here and there as the cake was taken out of the fridge, a cheesecake like baked good, that someone had already sliced appeared in front of him.

  
“Alright.” Yukhei breathed out while sitting down next to Donghyuck. A jar of juice was also placed in front of them. “This is peach water, because you know, you gotta have something very sweet with matcha.” He pointed out as he served the drinks.

Donghyuck had already served himself a slice. “I didn’t know you baked.” Well, truth be told he didn’t know the first thing about Yukhei up until that morning. Their encounters being short and wordless for the past year, only looks had been stolen here and there, sometimes caught the other staring.

Yukhei laughed softly once more. “I’m not very open about it. Please keep my secret, mom and dad would be so ashamed of me.” He pleaded dramatically, back of his hand against his forehead, eyebrows furrowed.

“I wouldn’t dare. I don’t want them to revoke your baking rights.” Donghyuck played along before digging into the food.

And on the eighth day God said let it be long awkward silences. It wasn’t like Donghyuck knew anyway.

Slowly Donghyuck turned on the stool to face Yukhei, who gulped harshly. It wouldn’t be the first time he earned criticism, Kun hadn’t been very fond of his peanut cookies just a few weeks ago.

“What the fuck?” it was said so slowly Yukhei almost missed it. There was absolutely no expression in Donghyuck’s face, not even a blink.

“Is it bad?” the fear in his voice was palpable.

“No!” he broke, looking at the cake and then back at its maker. “What the fuck? This is delicious, Yukhei.” Finally his eyes closed for a second, only to open wider, the fork fished another piece of the cake and flew to his mouth. More munching. “What the fuck?” now Donghyuck’s voice was muffled by the food, but the incredulous face was starting to hurt Yukhei’s feelings.

“Thank you?”

“No, like, dude.” Ouch. “That’s so good, like you should open a bakery or something, like, it’s very good, and I’m not the one to like non-sugary things.” Donghyuck rambled as he went for the glass of peach water. “Wait, did you make this too?” he asked pointing at the jar, and then he chugged the drink.

“I’m afraid so.” Yukhei was blushing, if this is how Donghyuck gave compliments, he was going to take it with open arms. It might take a while, but he was.

“What the fuck?”

-

“Sorry about that.” Yukhei apologized as he closed the door behind his back.

“No problems. My roommate’s high school sweetheart is like another addition to our apartment, like a freaking plant. Homeboy almost lives there by now.” Donghyuck --no wait--  Hyuck, explained.

The younger had used that nickname to introduce himself to Kun and Johnny, who bravely enough assumed Yukhei wasn’t home. As if the bastards hadn’t spent an entire weekend shagging. Storming into the place making out like horny teenagers, making Yukhei blush and damn his insides.

Just to make the situation awkward once again, now that the two youngsters had gained some traction in their conversation. Hyuck had found adorable how Yukhei kept his successful recipes in a binder on the cupboard, and had stickers with the date he made the peach water. They had been talking about baking and cooking, and how Hyuck was trying to be less horrible at the latter, now that he was in the big city all by himself. But to no avail. Maybe Yukhei could tutor him on that too.

 

“You can sit wherever, it’s fine.” Yukhei offered smiling as Donghyuck chose his bed.

Sitting on it with a small ‘comfy’, he waited with his hands clasped on his lap. His eyes wandered around, smiling when he recognized the movie posters in the walls. They had been fuller back in their old place, but yet again, Yukhei’s room used to be smaller.

“How long have you been living with Kun?” the smaller asked as if he could read Yukhei’s thoughts.

“A few months?” he was too occupied with the new angle of Hyuck looking up (and how cute it made Hyuck look) to even bother counting the days.

“How did you two even find each other?” curious eyes followed him as he sat next to the other at a reasonable, perfectly civil distance.

“I was working at a shitty place, he was passing by to grab something to eat and saw me getting…scolded.” The memory was not fond in the slightest, in fact, going back to that place mentally made Yukhei grow grey hairs. Not fun times at all. “He defended me since I barely knew any Korean. Got fired anyway.” He laughed dryly.

Donghyuck’s eyebrows were knitted together, in a mix of worry and anger, mouth hanging agape as if words were forcing their way out, but he kept them tightly tucked inside. “I’m sorry.” He said weakly. “for asking.”

“Don’t be, silly.” Yukhei booped his nose with a small bunny plushie he got on a claw machine. The little thing looked cozy on his bed where it permanently resided. “It turned out great for me.” He said opening his arms to gesture around him. “Kun and I talked for hours on end and he took me in, I didn’t have to pay rent until I could afford my degree expanses. And when I did, we decided to share rent and move to a bigger place.” That was a good summary of a little bit more than a year of hard work at various places. Doing his homework in the bus, and studying while serving tables.

If only he was so good at summarizing movies for his practice.

“So, you work now?” if Hyuck leaned in, Yukhei didn’t notice. There was this tenderness in the boy, maybe stored in those sweet cheeks, that made his entire face so easy to read, so honest and Yukhei was unable to avoid it. He wouldn’t let himself go from the warm, fuzzy feeling settling deep in his blood.

“At the campus library, weekend turns from early morning to closing time. It sucks, but the paying is good enough.” He shrugged. “What about you?”

It seemed to catch the other off guard, suddenly jumping away like a boy with a surprise toy. “Oh well,” for once in what seemed hours, Donghyuck took his gaze away from Yukhei, and he was already missing it. “I use to volunteer at the cat shelter back at home. Now I wanted to settle into the, college life.” The air quotes were exaggerated by his shoulders and a silly tone. “Before looking for something similar again.”

“Thought you were a dog person?” Yukhei says throwing away every screaming, reasonable voice saying that it was too early for those kinds of assumptions.

“Well, I might be now.”

-

“Oh look at that, mister flirtation himself. What do I owe the honor of this call?” sounded robotic and echoing the voice of the elder, probably elbows deep in papers in front of his computer.

“Did you not eat your yogurt today? Or have you always been this un-clenchable.”

“That’s not even a word.”

“That’s not even an answer.” Donghyuck was horrible at imitating Mark, and he was well aware. That’s why he replied with what he knew didn’t resemble Mark’s tone one bit.

“Okay, fine. But I’m not going to say thank you for what you did today.” it was easy to picture him with his rimmed glasses, arms crossed and cheeks puffed.

Mark was one adorable man no matter the efforts of denying it. His first tattoo was a heart made out with his parents names, for fuck’s sake.

“You will one day.” Hyuck smiled to driver as a greeting, pocketing his traveling card afterwards. “Anyway I’m heading back home. Mind hearing me rant about one adorable boy?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“I’ve been pinning after him for over a year now.” Hyuck stared off the window, the city bathed in the night stared back. “ You do have not.”

-

“So, was that…” Johnny started, before Yukhei snatched the apple he was going to bite into. Munching on it himself instead.

“Yes.” he spit a little, not being a master at multitasking.

“It was about goddamn time. I was getting sick of reading your cheesy scripts.” that one was Kun, currently drying his hands after washing the dishes.

“That’s kind of rude.” Yukhei said hurt, biting at the fruit again, this time taking an entire portion out of it and struggling to fit it in his mouth.

“Yeah, I quite liked those scripts.” Johnny augmented, leaning towards Yukhei in a visible metaphor, he was on his side. It was magical how much movies and cinema, had changed the way Yukhei looked at every day’s events.

Kun sat on the isle next to Johnny, so his support was lost in favor of laying his head on his boyfriend’s lap. Yukhei huffed before jumping off of the stool, discarding the remains of the apple. “It’s not like we are going to hang out again anyway?”

“Why do you say that?” Kun asked, eyes sparkling as always. What an attractive man, if he wasn’t the big brother Yukhei always wanted, he would actually...No okay, hold that thought, it was weird just thinking about it. “Did he do something? Did he say something? Did he try to make you do something?”

With each question, Kun’s voice rose in anger but lowered in volume, making the threat cold and stinging as he wanted to. Yukhei shook his head once he realised Kun had switched from Korean to Mandarin, the two languages already blending in Yukhei’s brain.

“No.” he said looking at Kun. “No.” and once more in Korean for Johnny. Even thought Yukhei was well aware that after a year with Kun, the american got some of the most basic chinese words down. “He is absolutely amazing, super nice and pretty.”

“So, what’s the problem?” asked Johnny after rising from his pillow, massaging his sore neck.

“We were supposed to meet up so I could help him with mandarin.” Yukhei explained.

“You are from Hong Kong. I had to help you with your mandarin at first as well.” Kun reminded him. By his tone it could almost seem as if he didn’t believe the other. But then again, Yukhei truly seemed upset.

“Like I was saying.” proceeded the youngest. “We didn’t even talk in chinese, he didn’t ask me anything like, not even to switch language or for my notes. Nothing. He just kept making questions and I, of course, made everything awkward. I think I scared him off.”

Yukhei had mindlessly walked to the living room as he rambled, the concerned couple in tow, kneeling in front of the couch Yukhei had flopped onto. Kun brushed his head, while Johnny spoke.

“That doesn’t have to mean anything bad, you know?” he started. “Maybe he thought that you two should know each other better before, beginning this tutor thing?” The halt in his words was surprising, but nothing compared with the strange tone he used next “By the way what do you get in return?”

“Johnny.” warned Kun.

“I’m just saying, people who tutor normally gain or earn something.” the taller looked at his partner, trying to ignore his stare. “That something not including a heartbreak.” and with that Kun punched Johnny on the arm.

Yukhei’s answer didn’t get past the barrier of pillows he had buried himself into, so until Kun didn’t pull them out, letting the younger’s head whiplash onto the couch, the small “he is going to be in my end of semester video” didn’t really register to the others.

“That’s great!” Kun said maybe too enthusiastically. “I mean, you wrote that script thinking of him, right? And your professor green lit it the other day, didn’t he? You are good to go.”

“I was.” Yukhei sat up. “But again, I don’t know. I think I blew my chances with him.” and then he was walking down the hallway to the bathroom.

Soon after the door to his room softly closed without a good night.

-

“You are an idiot.” ah yes, leave it to Renjun to comfort and aid the wounded Yukhei.

The day woke up lazily, the sun forgetting to wash its face on the way up leaving the sky foggy, cloudy, a weird humidity and slight tremble on the leaves that made it all that much more gloomy.

“How am I an idiot? Enlighten me.” Normally Yukhei would just smile and try to defend his point, but after sleeping on it he had made up his mind: Donghyuck didn’t have any interest in him now that he had actually spent time with the taller.

And it shouldn’t break Yukhei this much, now entering adulthood, feelings get down and hearts get broken left and right.

Still, it kind of hurt.

“Has it even crossed your mind that maybe he was nervous as fuck? I don’t know maybe after gathering all the courage he was like, done for the day? Expecting you to also take a step forward? And maybe you did and it took him by surprise? Have you even thought of the possibility that he is just like you and loses confidence when he is alone with someone?” Renjun wasn’t a psychology major, he actually dreaded being around people, claiming he was easily annoyed. But, he did know a big deal about Yukhei.

“Wait.” because Renjun might had just done something. “Do you really think so?” Yukhei asked balancing both their orders on the tray.

“I mean there’s the huge possibility.” Renjun shrugged as he held onto Yukheis zipper, guiding to their table. “You have a weird habit of only seeing the bad outcome.”

“I don’t want to get my hopes high just to have them crushed.” Yukhei confessed. Well, more like restated, he felt like he was living a deja-vu, already having had this conversation with the shorter a few months back.

“What did you guys talk about?” Renjun asked, swerving people and tables.

“He actually asked me stuff about...myself?” Yukhei said, setting the tray down. “Gosh, you had to see him, Junnie, he was so cute.” with a sigh he added. “Pointing out the movies he had seen, asking me for recommendations, telling me how he did a play on what movie…” the boy listed dreamily, only to come back to a slightly pissed Renjun.

With his lips pursed and his eyes slightly squinting he asked. “And you have the fucking nerve to say he has no interest in you?” after a quick scan he concluded. “You should be thankful I don’t have anything to hit you with, seriously.”

“Um, Yukhei?”

There are a few things that Yukhei was terrified of. One of them was death. But that could be crossed out right then and there, because it did sound more appetizing.

“H-hey!” the taller replied still coughing from choking on his muffin, turning to the familiar voice in a feign calm.

“Um, I was just wondering, if tomorrow you wouldn’t mind going to my place instead?” Donghyuck asked averting his eyes. “For studying purposes, for real this time.”

 

-

The sun was already setting, the high hours of the afternoon unfolding onto night faster each day. Yeah it was dreading but the golden and tender rays filtering merely through the curtains painted all in a light that made Yukhei feel homesick and yet cozy. Like he was going to miss that moment while living it.

Where as Yukhei kept his posters and momentos in an asymmetrical array, Donghyuck had his LPs lined up on the wall, fairy lights connecting them and the string of polaroids hanging on the head of his bed.

It couldn’t be any more fitting: the sun boy and a warm toned bedroom, with a salt lamp on the bed side table, an orange hued blanket over the bed and a citrus incense burning on one of the shelves.

Cramped, inviting. Yukhei sat on Donghyuck’s bed.

“Sorry I don’t have homemade pastries to offer you.” Hyuck said as he sat next to Yukhei with a notebook in his hands.

“It’s fine.” Yukhei muttered. “I should have brought some myself.”

“Don’t say that. If you did, I would have looked like a very bad host.” Hyuck counterattacked with a rather whiny voice, just barely there. At the edges.

Yukhei wasn’t the one for polite laughter, so all of the small chuckles he ever let out were genuine, but this one died when he looked up from the notebook between them he had been staring at. There was nothing about it, just a plain notebook who had seen better days. There was also no apparent reason for him to not look at the other. Or was it? Because ever since they both took the bus at the campus’ stop, the air had shifted.

No the temperature didn’t rise, and there definitely wasn’t a weird string pulling Yukhei to be more physical or anything of the sorts. All those could wait. Although, tension suddenly built up between them, fast as lightning.

And perhaps, Yukhei was starting to understand.

Not much was said on the way to Hyuck’s apartment, just some small talk. This time around, they went back and forth about classes and Hyuck’s upcoming end-of-semester project, about how Mark had also messaged Renjun and they were very much smitten, and really nothing at all. It was comfortable, it was innocent enough, even though their thighs touched the entire journey.

 

-

 

Until they didn’t get out of the elevator, the whatever was building between them didn’t seem to dissipate, from a warm stab on the chest, to a effervent feeling settling in their bones.

“Why did you start learning chinese in the first place?” Yukhei took the notebook, flipping the old pages around to find the basic lessons written in colorful writings, small notes on how to draw the different characters, etymology and so on.

“After hearing over and over again that your major won’t do jack shit for your future, it gets to you.” Hyuck confessed, now looking down and sighing. “So, the next thing I’m good at after performing are languages.”

“Why chinese, though?”

“Seemed easy enough.” it was clear making Yukhei crack up wasn’t in Donghyuck’s plans, but it happened, and the younger let it be. Watched as the taller’s back found the mattress, hands now on his own face.

“I am from Hong Kong and I still think it’s a weird ass language to learn if you aren’t a native.” Yukhei argued, still fighting the aftermath of his laughter.

“Where did you learn?” the notebook was back in his lap, now open to a blank page.

“At school as my second language.” Yukhei answered, more focused on how Hyuck was stretching as long as he was to grab his pencil case, from where he took a gel pen. “Pretty.” Yukhei complimented.

Donghyuck started scribbling furiously. “So where should we begin?” and maybe they had been talking too softly, because suddenly the ginger haired was shouting. So that’s how he reacted to compliments, huh? Okay, new task Wong Yukhei, thou shall try and make this boy as flustered and blushy as possible. Roger that?

-

 

For the few next hours they made some improvements, from going to where Hyuck was at level wise, to making the wise decision of switching languages and not giving away the translation, but rather finding ways of describing the word.

The sound of scribbling filled the pauses, Yukhei correcting little mistakes on the other’s writing, which in his defense was probably the trickiest part. But by the end of it, Yukhei couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised. He sure lacked a lot of vocabulary like movie, or postcard but he did have a solid base of the very basic structure. Which was more than Yukhei had come out from school with.

There was more fooling around, Hyuck making puns and jokes with the words and Yukhei pretending to pack his bags and leave in annoyance act, which was completely thrown away by his inability to hold back a smile. It was raw and pure, the way the younger acted and behaved, genuine and grounded. He could make anything become real.

“Okay so when I ask,” in chinese. “what’s your favourite movie?” Hyuck repeated the words slower. “What do you answer?”

“My favourite movie is Moonrise Kingdom.” was what he answered in an accented chinese, which was honest to god endearing.

“Wait, really?” back again in korean, Yukhei couldn’t mask his genuine surprise. “Why?

“I’m not going to say the color scheme, because you are going to go all arrogant film major and critique my lack of…taste. But, I really like how they portray love, you know? Why can’t love be like the kids see it? Just that simple, completely consented and wanted. Maybe they did know more about love than any of the adults.” Hyuck explained, and at the other’s silence he finished. “And I also enjoy how the director uses colors, okay? Got a problem with that, film major?”

Yukhei broke out of his stupor and smiled, genuine and big with his entire face. Shaking his head he looked at the other. “Yeah, maybe love isn’t that complicated.” he agreed.

Donghyuck shuffled on the bed, maybe getting closer, maybe scooting away. Yukhei had his eyes fixed on the polaroids, trying to decipher who those people were, maybe what they meant to Hyuck beyond the handwritten caption under the picture.

“What’s yours?” rang from Hyuck’s side, his chin resting on a hard shaped pillow with arms.

“I honestly can’t choose one.” he confessed, turning to the other.

“Oh, come on!” Hyuck booed, throwing the pillow at his face but missing completely, landing on Yukhei’s chest. One of the hands, whoever successfully slapped him on the jaw. Hyuck resolved in apologies and giggles. Yukhei reassured him, their hands meeting on the affected area for a second.

Hyuck cleared his throat and went back to his place. Yukhei damned his luck.

“Well, I think I decided I wanted to become a film director when I watched Grease.” it was a censored version, cut for the little kids to see, and yes it lost all the magic now that he thought about it, but at the end of the day he just fell in love with it.

There was something about that movie that made Yukhei so happy, made him feel light and bubbly, wanting to go around singing and dancing and just be joyful. And that was his goal, to make people feel like this after watching his work. To make people see the world in a different, hopefully more bright perspective.

“A musical?” his voice was teasing, and the taller had to admit it was ironic how his favourite movie was a musical because, you know, that’s what Hyuck wanted to do for a living. “Would have never thought.”

“What were your guesses then?” Yukhei inquired, leaning backwards and resting his weight on his hands.

“Hmm.” the smaller had begun pacing around the room, tidying stuff from his desk and smoothing out the clothes hanging from his chair. “A movie that’s like, obscure? That people don’t know off. Or better yet, a movie that everyone knows off but you film majors think nobody gets, because the directors true message and shit like that.”

It really was easy to make Yukhei laugh, but that was spot on. Too many kids in his class pulled out all those references nobody knew off, only for the professor to shut them out for that very reason. Like popular culture was completely forbidden amongst those kids, a lower class versus higher class agenda clearly boiling deep down. Maybe that’s why Yukhei didn’t have many friends in his grade.

“What?” Hyuck sounded as confused as he looked, checking the small potted succulents by his window.

Just by looking at him, Yukhei felt happy. Even if happiness was an unreachable goal made up by a lot of little things one had to become or be in order to achieve it, that’s as close as it could get. Like a movie. Like some sort of happiness.

“You have such a bad image of us.” it might have sounded wounded in any other circumstance, but Hyuck was twirling his pen between his fingers, two of his nails still neatly painted, the rest with crisps of the color hanging for dear life. And Yukhei couldn’t tear his eyes off of the other. “Why did you ask one of us to tutor you?”

“Because I want you to prove me wrong, about film majors, about arrogant directors that cant do their job in musical format, and who judge the ones of us who like zootopia.” Donghyuck explained, and it was surreal who such a sweet voice, tender hands and sun kissed skin could reside in Yukhei’s world. It was like watching the sun set, beautiful and unobtainable.

“Zootopia is a great fucking movie.” Yukhei agreed in chinese. Hyuck smiled as he wrote the words, circling out the foul word with a red pen this time.

 

-

There had been no script. No email, no folder, not even a piece of paper with any sort of lines. And Donghyuck tried not to worry about it. Because after all, he could let his life off of the reigns of words for a while, he could just let it fall into place by itself. No rules, no pre-established actions or assumptions. Just the flow of the moment. Maybe just like it happened almost a month ago, where the mere suggestion of him launching forward and talking to Yukhei felt premeditated in the way that it was not. Purely coincidental.

The astres had aligned, the mood was just right on an october day. Memories of the Halloween party still engraved into his mind: he went like Jack Skellington. Hours in front of the mirror to come up with something decent, his arms hurting with the effort. It was nothing short but disappointing to see his friends choose basic costumes like a priest Jeno, a devil Jaemin, and Mark as a robot.

Hyuck remembers sighing but following them to the house party. Not even a frat party, they didn’t have those there, but it was big enough to hold the amount of interested students that just wanted to have some fun while wearing ridiculous clothes. There was enough booze to go around, loud music Donghyuck was sure no one liked, but everyone was dancing to.

And there was Yukhei. Dressed as Frankenstein’s monster, the bad depiction of it, the Hollywood version. Only better. Hair slicked back, scars in his face and neck and a fancy tuxedo. A love child of the monster and Gomez Addams. Minus the moustache.

Needless to say, he hadn’t approached the elegant monster that night. Even though he was tipsy enough to do so, but it was also his fuzzy mind which held him back. It was just not right. The stars were off. And it felt only fitting to meet a film major in some sort of way.

The hollywood rom-com shaped way, the classical meet cute way. The I can’t stop thinking about him so at any excuse I can get to talk to him I will, way.

It was a matter of timing.

Just like how Yukhei took pictures. Without script, but with an impeccable timing.

He carried that monstrous camera around, big on its shape, the lense intimidating if it wasn’t because Hyuck loved to look at it. Loved the way it focused on him, his living was composed of what the machine could portray of him. Hyuck grew to love that camera soon enough. Loved the fact that it was being held by two delicate hands, an eye behind the objective.

The only eyes he cared for, even when the camera was down, swinging on Yukhei’s chest, hanging from his neck like a medal. Like a prize. Hyuck started to think that it had been. A clear emotional attachment had been formed between Yukhei and his camera, and the younger almost felt like he was intruding when he posed.

“Relax.” had mumbled Yukhei for the nth time that afternoon.

But no matter how many times the couple hit the town, no matter how many times the lense was on him, Hyuck just wanted to reach Yukhei’s expectations. Disappointment was something he couldn’t afford to gift the other.

Golden hour extended languidly during the first days of autumn, leaves dancing to their fall, the others persistent in their parade of colors.

They frequented parts of town with a lot of people at first, coffee on the table and chinese words exchanged in a conversation that Hyuck always started. Either about his flatmate, his parents, the fact that it was autumn. Anything his vocabulary could extend to.

Then they’d move to side streets, with merchants along the river in a european-like display. Hyuck always prefered old, used books rather than new ones. The more pencil marks between the words the better. It felt like he was reading with someone else, commenting the word choice together in a conversation that the first owner had never expected.

Donghyuck knew Yukhei was filming him. He’d given his utmost consent for him to do so, in an spoken contract that underlined more trust than actual facts. For Donghyuck had yet to see the script.

-

The sun grazed the water of the river in golden specs as it moved, marching down to meet the sea. Same shinings were found by Donghyuck on a stand an old woman was sitting behind. Bracelets, earrings, pendants and rings. Everything and anything. Said woman was hunched over, working on some other piece as if it had more value than life itself. Her wrinkled hands, yellowing nails and grey complexion giving the practice a solemn atmosphere. Showcasing the years and decades needed to perfect a jewel.

“Good afternoon, dearest.” she smiled through crooked teeth.

Donghyuck loved people. Hell, he’d sit to talk to a stranger for hours if the conversation was interesting enough. And the way the woman squinted upwards, her eyes disappearing in folds as she smiled, it made a tinge thrum in Donghyuck’s body. But before he could get anything out, he smiled.

“Good afternoon to you too ma’am. Do you mind if I film your stand?” Yukhei greeted, with that joyful face he pulled when it wasn’t just his lips, but his entire body smiling. Precious didn’t begin to cover it.

“Sure, dear. Even though I don’t know if my stand or myself will be of any interest.” her voice was crafted by years, thick on her tongue.

“Beauty is found anywhere, ma’am.” Yukhei replied, hands already cupping his camera.

“How long have you been doing this, if you don’t mind me asking?” Donghyuck faced the dilemma of keeping his gaze on the woman, or  browsing through the ornaments. He managed to multitask, ultimately.

“Oh my, for as long as I can remember.” she replied.

Hyuck noticed how Yukhei was moving around the stand, capturing the beauty of the world, of his world, the water, the pendants, the woman and the wind. Donghyuck’s curiosity did nothing but increase as she explained her childhood, tainted by war and death, the fast city growing and eternally changing all around her.

“But alas!” she jumped, her hands scrambling to find a box where small golden and silver chains rattled. “my pretty jewelry will always be there.”

Donghyuck’s cheeks hurt from so much smiling, but he didn’t give one bit of attention to that, deciding whether it would be a rational, adult choice to buy the entire stand (thus showing just how bad at managing money he actually was, and how wrong had his parents been for trusting him to be independent). Probably not.

“What’s your name dear?” She asked now. The sun was setting rapidly, as if the long, drawn out yawn that had been golden hour, had ended rushedly.

“Lee Donghyuck.” he answered. “People call me Hyuck, or Haechan.” taking the hand the woman had offered him, he watched as she shifted it, looking at it in every angle.

Fondness spread all over his body, as if blood suddenly carried small rays of the setting sun from their trip to his heart. The memory of his mother explaining how that was her preferred name for him, how it was an arduous battle she fought and lost against grandparents. Tradition was beautiful in the way that it could take beautiful little things away from you.

It took away Haechan from Donghyuck. A name he would have most certainly made justice to. Mark’s words, not his. Mark actually was the one to call him Haechan the most, some times to tease him, sometimes because he was the only one who could.  


“You do indeed have a lot of warmth in you.” she lowered the box with her free hand, but between her fingers, clasp tightly there was a dangling chain that she wrapped around him.

It was a sun. Not those ones with ugly faces, that look like they have eavesdropped in a shit talk and were planning revenge on an already spiteful friendship. Not a mean sun. A full sun. Plain and golden against his skin.

“Pretty…” whispered Yukhei, holding Hyuck’s arm in his hands, framing it properly.

“It really is.” Donghyuck said turning to the woman. “How much is it?”

“For free, dear. I’m getting old and I should really retire from this. It’s time to start giving those away.” she chuckled as she got up.

“I can’t just take it.” Hyuck insisted.

“Okay then, buy this pendant for your _friend_ ” she winked. Why did she wink? Donghyuck almost took a step back. He wasn’t being too obvious, was he? No of course not. Willing himself to calm down, he looked at the pendant. “and we’ll call it a deal.”

“Deal.”

The pendant was some sort of moon, but instead of hanging from the tip it was wrapped in the middle, like a croissant but prettier. Silver and cylindric, hugging the hollow spot between Yukhei’s collarbones.

“You really shouldn’t have.” he had argued.

“Then you should have been paying more attention and stopped me.” he retorted. “Too late now, isn’t it?” there wasn’t exactly malice in his tone. Whiny? Yes he was. He liked emphasizing his feelings, make the situation dramatic and hence humoristic, taking the entire emotional baggage out of the air.

Yukhei breathed through his nose, a habit only used when he was mildly distressed, but obliging nonetheless. There was so much he learned about the eler in a few weeks, and yet so much to learn. Excitement surpassing any other word when it came to Yukhei.

Who was on the steps of Donghyuck’s apartment building. Finally shorter than the younger, who was standing one step further. “Wait your camera’s string is on the way.” Hyuck announced, waiting for Yukhei to remove it, in order to clasp shut the pendant.

And then he saw it.

When Yukhei lowered his head, bones protruding with the gesture, a tan persiting in his skin and a mole. A round freckle peeking out from his shirt and shadowed by the neck of his jacket.

He did the only rational thing anyone would do in his situation. Hyuck poked it.

Yukhei yelped, almost tripping on his own shoelaces and dropping the camera. Almost. He held onto the reil, eyes wide when he turned to face him. “What was that for?”

“You have a freckle there.” Donghyuck shrugged, as if what he did was the most normal thing in the world. And it was. He could have kissed it. That would have been embarrassing as well as an accomplishment from his part. But he decided to give time to time, let it settle and clear in his mind. After an entire year, Yukhei was presented in front of him, with pure intentions and a camera. And some chinese lessons. Too fragile.

“So?” he sounded indignant, making Hyuck laugh softly. Yukhei was smiling when he brought his hand up. “You have like six here,” he poked his cheek. “and I never said anything.”

“Excuse me, sir.” Hyuck said after trying to bite Yukhei’s finger. “They are called Lee Donghyuck’s Ursae Minoris.” he said solemnly and proudly, eyes closed, finger on his throat. “and here’s the north star.”

“I’m tremendously sorry.” Yukhei bowed, hand on his chest before hanging the camera around his neck again. “What should I do to make amends.”

“Look at you, using big boy’s words.” Hyuck said punching his shoulder, it barely did Yukhei any harm, yet he gasped like a wounded animal. It was almost pathetic how easily Yukhei make Donghyuck laugh, it was so primal and teenage-like that it made him roll his eyes internally. Perhaps, he was obvious.

“I try my best.” Yukhei was looking up, for once he was and Donghyuck could see the purple shading the sky, blending with a deep blue. “Thank you for the pendant again.”

“No need to. That’s what friends are for, right?” it was poison. The word, it felt like venom in his tongue, made him want to gag. Yukhei was his friend, yes, for now. Hyuck didn’t want to cage him in that category, not forever. And the thought that he might have just done that, made him panic.

You see, there’s no such thing as sweet recovery from that. Even if Yukhei seemed impossible, Donghyuck felt like he had just burned a bridge. Arched and curved like the moon around Yukhei’s neck.

“Right.” Yukhei simply said, stepping down the only stair he had left. He was still smiling, but it felt lavender, almost baby blue, perhaps blue. Donghyuck was too far away, deep in thought.

When the right words came to his mouth he found himself saying. “See you tomorrow, yeah?”

-

 

It was bound to happen. The merge of friend groups that is. Not that Yukhei dreaded it, being one to enjoy his time surrounded by people. Mark was a cool kid, you know those ones who aren’t really popular per se, not fitting in the whole role because they have such pristin heart. Yet, he had this whole aura about him, cool, easy going, composed. The perfect boy next door.

Only for his image to be completely shattered at the sight of Renjun. The boy brought Mark to a fidgety state that could only be described as adorable. He really was trying his very damn best to impress the younger, to prove himself somehow. As if Renjun hadn’t had his heart set on him for a while now. Still, Renjun wasn’t the one to say no to pampering, even if he refused to acknowledge it.

There was a lot to tear down from Renjun before he even let Mark set a hand on him. But the latter didn’t seem to have any rush. So Yukhei guessed they would work out.

On the other hand, Donghyuck had stated it himself. Friendship which, Yukhei could deal with he could. Because that meant that there was a barrier, that there at least should be things he was not allowed to do as a friend. That Hyuck could not do because, they were friends.

Or so he thought.

Donghyuck only had inched closer, and Yukhei had let him.

As the stark opposite of Renjun, he thrived on physical contact, be it in the receiving or giving end. It was just quite of a lot since his only friend in uni did not even let him lie his tired head on his shoulder. And now Hyuck had his arm hooked on Yukhei’s as they had their morning coffee. The tables finally dragged closer.

Yukhei took a deep breath. He could handle this.

“But if you _had_ to. Which one?” Renjun asked, merciless.

They had been debating for a while now, Mark contributing only to be shut down, both Donghyuck and Renjun whining about how his opinion isn't grounded. “I just like dogs! Why do I have to ground that?” he had protested, relief to meet Yukhei’s accomplice eyes.

“You are one cruel, sick monster, you know that?” Donghyuck resolved, finding the straw of his hot drink. Yukhei thought right there and then, Renjun had found his match. Who drinks scorching hot chocolate with a straw?

Mark’s surprise yelp, swept Yukhei off of his train thought. “I would have bet my lungs you were a cat person.” He raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“Well,” Donghyuck begun. “My next door neighbour has a poodle, she is so sweet and bouncy and her eyes!” Yukhei softened at his voice. “And she almost never barks I love her.”

“Is that your only reason?” Mark asked around his sandwich.

“Why you ask that?” If there was a tremble in the younger’s voice, Yukhei chose to ignore it. It was getting colder.

“No reason.” Mark shrugged with one shoulder. Whatever he did, seemed to appease Renjun, who opened his mouth asking to be fed.

Yukhei thought back to their first day, in his room, no chinese spoken, but Donghyuck’s tender features as he confessed that he was maybe becoming a dog person. How delusional he had been. Of course he was talking about the neighbour’s dog. Yukhei wasn’t a dog, even if Kun and Johnny called him an overgrown puppy sometimes. As always, too quick to jump to conclusions, almost wanting to be a step ahead of the story. He was going to be an awful director.

-

Meeting Jaemin and Jeno was also an unavoidable event. So when it happened Yukhei had already braced himself for it. And the impact was not as harsh, as a result. Turns out Jaemin and Jeno had always gone in a pack, sort of like Mark and Donghyuck, but with more romance and less pinching.

They were funny, entertaining, interesting in how different from each other they were. Jeno was a tank, all wide shoulders, wider smiles, short and with a strong voice and stronger personality. Jaemin was flower, pretty as they come, doey eyes, pouty voice and snarky comments bathed in sweetness.

Yukhei adored them.

He fell into that small apartment and its inhabitants so easily. Slipped right in, cozy between foreign blankets, loud laughter and simple conversations. Falling asleep on the couch more times than not, because “you are twice my height Hei, and I need this back to last me at least eighty more years.”

Hei.

Or Lucas.

Sometimes Xuxi.

Most times Xuxi.

And that’s how winter first saw Yukhei, bundled up under fuzzy covers that were not his, a mug of tea cradled in his hands and endless hours of studying. Yukhei bringing his laptop along to edit beside Donghyuck, who would go over his lines with a pencil between his teeth, to enhance his pronunciation. Other times he would do his readings, a pen cap being the victim of his biting.

Until one day.

“Stay the night.” Donghyuck had said once against his shoulder, eyelids done for the day.

“I don’t think I can lay on your couch, no offence.” Yukhei was poking Donghyuck’s cheek, finding those freckles, those stars with more ease now.

The younger hummed. “You can just use my bed.” But by the looks of it, he wasn’t going to get up and leave either. So Yukhei swallowed hard, demanded his pulse to slow down, after speeding up without his requests. Rude.

“Do you mean, share your bed?” the taller asked, eyes everywhere but on Donghyuck.

“No funny business.” there was absolutely no authority in Donghyuck’s voice. “Just sleeping. And maybe cuddling. I like being the big spoon.” it came out slurry, almost holding the hand of slumber. Yukhei was a simple, plain romantic, weak man.

He fell asleep with Donghyuck’s arms around him many nights after that, a ghostly breathing on the freckle behind his neck, and his eyes fixed in the new polaroid hanging next to the others, on the same thread. Yukhei and Donghyuck, smiling, laughing, the taller’s eyes were screw shut, his entire face scrunched up in a yell over the blaring music of the concert the entire group had gone. Donghyuck was looking at him, eyes also closed but so much more peaceful, arm around Yukhei’s shoulders, pulling him close.

Yukhei could almost still feel the kiss Donghyuck left on his cheek that night.

Drunk, fazed and hyped.

The epitome of platonic.

 

-

Donghyuck took pride on his quick witted mouth, his reflexes always sharp in order to have the last word. Not many arguments weren’t left alone without Donghyuck giving his final five cents, or ultimately him winning them. The boy was made to perform, to act, to face another and blurt out inchorences from the deepest pit in his heart. Because, he indeed had a way with words.

Except with Yukhei.

The boy left him breathless the times he didn’t render him speechless.

In the best ways possible.

There wasn’t quite someone like Yukhei, at least not around. And Donghyuck didn’t think he bared the capacity to hold him in his life, keep him around until he discovered just how unspecial Donghyuck was. How out of the ordinary he felt next to Yukhei.

The need to impress the film major only but escalated as the winter moved in, unpacking its strong winds, storms and hanging its cold all around. Donghyuck found himself maneuvering through his actions and words to make the other laugh, to make joy bubble out of his being. To be the cause of said bliss.

But words betrayed him. Maybe, because he still didn’t have a script.

After so many hours of footage of Donghyuck just going on and about, still not knowing anything about the project.

And it only struck him even weirder after recalling the binder, all those recipes perfectly and tightly bound in a corner of Yukhei’s kitchen. The elder always used a recipe, something he could rely on, a successful and proven formula.

So Donghyuck trusted the process. Trusted Yukhei every time he brought the camera to his face.

“Okay, have you spread some flour on the counter?” asked Yukhei even though he could just have turned to see it himself. Now that he could see, given that his hair had grown longer, brushing down his ears and meeting his neck.

And as outstanding as Hyuck found it, proved to be much of a hassle while working. So tying it upl was the best choice, and Donghyuck had been honored to have Yukhei spread his legs in the beginning of a split, back facing him.

He wanted to write sonnets about his hair alone. How it was the sea, a waterfall and a thousand more corny and stupid metaphors. But they had a cake to bake. So Hyuck tied his hair in a small ponytail that still couldn’t trap all the strands in, and forgot how to breathe. Again.

“Yes, sir!” he saluted, his hair now snowed in.

“Awesome, now careful.” the taller warned with gritted teeth as he dropped the dough on the bed of flour. “Time to knead it.” his hands gestured for Hyuck to go ahead.

And so he did.

Trying to imitate all those videos he saw every now and then on his instagram feed, massaging the dough like some sort of tired shoulder blade. Even though he ended with the sticky mixture up his forearm. That was not how the lady looked in those one minute videos.

She looked like Yukhei: apron tied on, and determined. But not quite like Yukhei, no one could glow like him. With his loud laughter that had so much body to it, so much color.

“What the hell are you doing? Are you a physiotherapist? A masseur?”Yukhei bumped his hip against Donghyuck’s as he stepped closer. “In this baking world is to knead or be kneaded. So give this bad boy a run for his money.”

Donghyuck sighed, in other circumstances he would have laughed at Yukhei’s attempts of making everything funnier. But his image was on the line, and he was not going to be humiliated by a piece of bread. Well, a piece of cake. Okay that was funny.

After high-fiving himself mentally, Donghyuck tried again. This time he just stomped his fists on the mass, watching it take his punches like a memory foam punching sack.

“Well, we are getting somewhere.” Yukhei pretended to sound condescending, arms crossed. But he was rather impressed. “You really have no strength in your hands? No muscle?”

“What do you mean muscle? It’s not like you can exercise your fingers. And don’t even dare turn this into a dirty joke.” Hyuck’s finger had still mixture in it, with a sprinkle of flour falling to its demise, as it pointed to Yukhei threateningly.

“How can I not, when you are spanking that dough?” Yukhei wiggled his eyebrows, earning himself a shove and some punches of Hyuckei’s dirty fists in his spotless apron. “Not below the belly, that’s foul play!” Yukhei pleaded recolining in on himself and stepping away.

“Okay then, Master Chef of bullshit, show me how it’s done.” Donghyuck crossed his arms this time, already knowing his apron was unredeemable spotted.

“How’s what done? Spanking?” Yukhei leaned in and this time Donghyuck slapped his arm and went for a kick, that Yukhei barely avoided. “Okay, okay, relax damn.”

Oh, Donghyuck was relaxed, he was completely relaxed, tranquil, peaceful, zen, his meditation never ending. It was only that Yukhei, the fucking best thing that has ever happened to Donghyuck -- after musicals and theatre and acting, of course--  was just a silly, stupid, horny kid and Donghyuck was done with him. In the sense that he was not. At all. He was also not beginning either. He was in the middle, engulfed by Yukhei, completely wrapped around his finger.  
The taller stood next to Donghyuck in that kitchen that had always looked always so big, now suffocating, all white and marble and nordic designs cold on the touch, now warm. Too warm. Their arms brushed when Yukhei started to knead the damn dough, and Donghyuck turned a bit, protecting the sight of his hairs raising at the touch.

A single touch.

But Donghyuck wanted more.

So, so much more that it even fit in his body how much he wanted.

The cuddles, the hugs, the teasing, the hand holding, the heads on laps, the slow mornings, the stupid late night conversations, the tears, the pain, the love. He wanted it all. And he wanted it all to matter.

Beyond the weird friendship the had built with silent agreements, with hands caressing as they walked, cheek kisses and spooning.

The moon pendant bounced with the movement, some more strands got loose from the ponytail but Donghyuck couldn’t do anything about it. Just like this entire situation of liking Yukei.

“Well, that would be good.” Yukhei mumbled, turning to Donghyuck and tilting his head. He had been caught staring. It wouldn’t have been the first time. “What?”

Donghyuck’s gaze lowered to the dough, to the hands. “Wait a second.” he muttered back, grabbing Yukhei’s wrist and ignoring the whining from the taller because his hands were filled still covered in dough.

The palms of his hands pressed together, the sounds of uncooked dough sploshing quitely. Donghyuck had a mission. He stretched his hand against Yukhei’s. And holy fuck. He had known Yukhei’s hands were big, the whole boy was in fact a fucking titan, only surpassed by yet another colossus by the name of Johnny (who made really nice beacon and eggs as a mid-studying snack, might he add).

The moon pendant was looking right at him. Piercing holes in his brain. The woman from the river side appeared in his mind. How obvious he had been. How Yukhei hadn’t noticed.

But now his hand, that was...ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Just like Donghyuck.

Just like all his efforts to impress Yukhei, to make anything happen. All of it fruitless.

Because he had to know. Yukhei must have noticed. And he wasn’t responding to it. Some parts of his mind nudged him to think that maybe he wasn’t paying attention, that he was just oblivious. But if Hyuck was Yukhei, he would have noticed. For sure. Or maybe he just didn’t want to see Hyuck.

There was a thud inside him, down in his trachea to his heart. He couldn’t breath. He could talk.

“How the fuck?” he asked incredulously, glaring at his own hand as if it had betrayed him and his entire family.

“I guess I drank a lot of milk when I was little?” Yukhei shrugged, not breaking the contact.

“What the fuck?” it was starting to hit. What? He wasn’t sure. But maybe it hurt a little, and he was so confused. “What the fuck?” he repeated, maybe to his own heart, to the entire situation, to the fact that maybe he had been reading everything wrong.

As if the other’s big palm had revealed an ancient mystery, or just the truth Donghyuck didn’t want to hear. That maybe all that he wanted, all that list, was never going to be crossed out.

“Dude, it happens. I just hit a growing spurt when I was thirteen?”

And that was not fair. It was not fair that Donghyuck can’t get something as simple as love. That he had to go and like someone that would never like him back, that only gave back what Donghyuck gave, that never went a step further. Because he was not interested.

As Yukhei pulls away, all the small memories came to his mind. And they broke Donghyuck one by one. He was just Yukhei’s friend. That’s how it is. All the ambition, all the tension was one sided. And he felt like a fool for not noticing before.

“Thirteen!?” Hyuck repeated, trying not to let his voice waver.

He was never good with words, Lee Donghyuck. Only could recite them in ways that had people cry, that could tear the audience a part.

So when Yukhei called him cute, the shorter mumbled a “You need to stop calling me cute, people might get ideas.” not even the slight smile in his features made the words feel any less soulbreaking.

Yukhei gaped at him, just for a split second, before shoving him playfully. Unaffected. Show must go on and there was a cake to bake. Which turned out delicious, thank you very much.

-

Donghyuck leaves that night after refusing to stay over. Yukhei didn’t particularly look too upset about it, just sighed and nodded as Hyuck continued to pretend as if the mood hadn’t changed drastically in the course of the evening. That Yukhei hadn’t become cold in his usually warm mannerisms that just invite people in, that break walls down.

Maybe he would apologize next morning, because calling Donghyuck cute was actually stating facts, and he would blame it on the stress for the upcoming rehearsals, or just his exhaustion. He would blame it in anything but the bucket of ice that had ran down his shoulder blades at the realisation that he had no chance with Yukhei. That he had been lead to believe otherwise by the nature of their friendship.

But he couldn’t hate Yukhei, because he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t break his heart with a rejection, he didn’t push Donghyuck away, he didn’t do any cruel game with his heart as the prize. Because Yukhei was so inherently _good_. He was a good person, a good friend, and a good director who wanted to show people the beauty of the world, he wanted to spread hope and happiness without tweaking reality. Find art in the smallest gestures.

And Hyuck was irrevocably in love. Or infatuation. Or somewhere in between that words could not even reach.

Donghyuck looked at the polaroids, one by one, letting the memories go back to him lulling him to sleep. Soaking in the feeling of the last one, the kiss on the cheek, the absolute mess that had been that night. And hoped he would find peace tomorrow, though he knew there wasn’t peace without Yukhei’s arms around him.

-

“You heard him.” winter was looming in, just a few more days for the snow to appear.

They didn’t have snow in Hong Kong, not that frequent, not that many and certainly not that cruel. Small daggers when the snows kissed his cheeks, even if they were bundled in a scarf.

Johnny loved snow. Lopsided smile at the prospect of enjoying a day out with his boyfriend and the snow piling on the sides of the row. Yukhei envied that. Envied that Johnny had something that reminded him of his childhood, a time of innocence and purity, fathers with piano lessons and mothers with soft curls.

Yukhei’s childhood was marked by loneliness, an upcoming divorce that hovered over a marriage that had been beneficial in more legal and economical ways than emotional. Yukhei the offspring of what society expected from a young, freshly married couple.

Only him and the VHS.

Yukhei bow to dedicate his entire life to creat what kept him company those endless nights of yelling. Movies. But that didn’t make it better, movies were also the reminder of how miserable the most tender years of his life had been.

Life is bittersweet, sometimes.

“It’s not the end of the world.” Kun, sweet like the hot chocolate in the mug he was carrying, had been let in on the loop about Yukhei’s latest update on him and Donghyuck. Only almost a week later, because the taller refused to talk about it and Kun had to promptly go over a list of questions until Yukhei snapped and just told him.

“I know, but it hurts.” Yukhei pouted, he really doesn’t want to, it made this entire situation sound childish. And it was. And he was selfish, but he got the right to be so after being thrown out by the boy he liked.

“Oh, I know it does.” Kun patted his back, soothingly sitting next to him on the couch. “And it will keep hurting for a while, but it will also pass, and you will learn. You will always learn.”

Yukhei groaned after leaving the mug on the coffee table, then he unceremoniously threw himself on the couch, burying his head on a pillow for a hot second, screaming into the seat and sitting up again. Hair pointing everywhere. “Sorry, couldn’t handle that Dad moment there.” Kun punched his arm and of course, Yukhei made a big deal out of it. “You are too much sometimes, just admit it.”

“Fine.” Kun really, really was trying to bite on that smile, because even if Yukhei was sad, he managed to make people laugh. Somehow. “But I just want you to know that it’s good to not be...good. ”

“Wait are you trying to meld with the youth by quoting a twitter video?” arching an eyebrow, Yukhei sipped on his hot chocolate.

Kun really had the patience of a saint, still he pretended to raise his hand to slap Yukhei, muttering cuss words and threats in chinese that didn’t really seem to budge Yukhei. However, it wasn’t hard to read what was happening, Yukhei could already foresee what Kun’s next movements would be. And he was eternally thankful for him.

Arms wrapped around Yukhei’s neck, pulling him into a hug, not forcefully either unwilling. For Yukhei buried his head on Kun’s chest, let his eyes fall shut and eyebrows furrow. He sobbed once more, this time it didn’t feel like his tears would never run out, maybe because he had already cried too much over the honey skinned boy, who treated him like the rest, to whom Yukhei was never special.

Just another platonic friendship.

And he was fine with it. Will be fine with it. But first, he just gotta let the sappy emotions of young love take over him.

-

 

It was easy. Getting over Donghyuck.

Finals had come around, editing nights upon editing days, work and university didn’t leave Yukhei with a lot of spare time. Coffee was made early by either Kun or Johnny, both asking a kiss on the cheek as a reward and sending Yukhei on his merry way. No time for cafés, that record shop Donghyuck loved to meet up, chinese classes, or flea markets by the river. Not even time to dwell on his demise.

Not like Renjun would let him, soothing him through it in the most Renjun way possible. The boy could cling on the taller like a damn koala while calling him blind, or stupid. Because, that’s how Renjun worked. Regardless, it helped, a tiny bit. It’s more that he would have had back at home. Back in Hong Kong.

You see, the now blonde haired boy’s perspective was that Yukhei had to fight for Donghyuck. Not in a knight in shining armour type of way (not even movies could make that dynamic work), neither he proposed Yukhei to not take a no for an answer.  Rather, Yukhei had to fight against himself. Had to find the courage in him to just tell Donghyuck, time was ticking and the hole they had dug whatever they had was only getting hollower.

Tell Donghyuck. Tell him what he made Yukhei feel, the butterflies in his stomach and, quoting the giant himself “that I would steal the sun for him just to see him smile.” And, he had a point.

However, Yukhei was a coward. He worked with guidelines, deadlines and just lines in general. He had a structure, a plan, always. What was the plan with Lee Donghyuck? Well, just wait. The good ol’ waiting game. Sure that was ought to work, some time. It didn’t work ever in Yukhei’s life and when it did, never in his favour.

Regardless, he had been hopeful.

“More like a fool.” Renjun said between bites of his lunch, finals were kicking his six inch feet tall body like a rag doll and that meant no time for cooking. “You have been a fool, you know it, but you like basking in your own misery.”

“Rude.” Yukhei’s mouth was full of mashed potatoes, but one of his hands was covering it so he wasn’t being the rude one. “I was just cautious, okay? What we had --have, is safe, is stable, is nice and easy and it flows. Why break that?”

“Because you love him.” Renjun said almost shouting, he was this close form bouncing on his seat in a whine. “And love makes you do stupid things like say fuck it! Fuck stability!”

“Like you are the one to talk.” his voice barely registered as a whisper. “When are you going to just ask Mark to be your boyfriend? I swear if I hear you two saying ‘they are just dates’ again I’ll scoop my ears out.”

“It wouldn’t be a loss, really, you don’t use them anyways.” Renjun squinted at him before stabbing his food with his fork and munching angrily. A lot of anger in such a small being, there was.

“Anyway, it’s done, it’s over, everything will be fine.” Yukhei shrugged. “I haven’t even seen him in like weeks.”

There was a pause. Renjun, probably tired of arguing changed the subject. “How’s your project going?”

“I’m dreading editing it, but I have enough footage.” his hands stopped for a second, dropping his silver wear rather loudly amidst a louder cafeteria. Suddenly it was like a knot had been tied in his stomach, unable to take another bite.

“What is it about?”

“A stupid thing really.” his laughter was dead, it withered before it could gain any actual joy.

“Tell me.”

“It’s about finding love in between rays of sunshine.” the explanation felt so presumptuous, but he went over the images in his head. It felt fitting.

“What kind of fresh-out-of-school cinema critic kind of bullshi-”

“It’s about Donghyuck.”

-

Christmas was around the corner. Yukhei had helped setting up the decorations with a zipped mouth, not even lip syncing the cheerful christmas songs Johnny had put on the speakers. Even minimum wage employees seemed more happy putting extra work and hours on decorating their workplaces.

It wasn’t a rare sight, much to everyone’s dismay. Yukhei had spent the entire month of December sulking, but not in the juvenile way. He had grown quieter, reserved, his words weighed pounds when he did speak, only managing to reply in monosyllables. A frown was now settled in his eyebrows, a trademark reserved for his most focused hours, now a permanent resident in his features.

One sure could think a heartache couldn’t last so long. And one might be right, Yukhei maybe was dragging it out way too much, not baking anything for a while now, his journal forgotten on his desk. Frankly, heartache had been nothing but the beginning. The spiky end of an iceberg the boy didn’t even know he was trying to hide from the captain of the ship.

And then he crashed right onto it.

Nightmares made him not want to fall asleep ever again, because they weren’t simple night terrors. They were memories. If only more claustrophobic, more emphasized in how everything pressed against his chest. There was mom, and dad, and their loud yells, and their shoving, and their pushing Yukhei into his own closet. The fabrics were rough against his skin, and he tried to hold his breath for everything smelled rotten.

There was a lot of business school mentioned, a lot of pushing Yukhei’s head against the books.

Never did Yukhei dream about him packing his bags, and hopping onto the first plane to Korea. All in all, it was the most pleasant memory of the entire story.

“Hello?” he knew exactly who was calling, the id on his screen left no doubts.

“Yukhei? Hi!” it was still cheerful through the static, Jaemin’s voice would be cheerful even if the world was to end.

“Hi, Jaemin. How’s it going?” It was a matter of keeping his cool. Yukhei was no actor, but he could do as much.

“Oh God, you don’t want to know, my friend.” the computer science major sighed on the other end.

“It’s like, you know that scene from final destination where a person gets fucking smashed by a huge rock? Well there’s nothing I desire more.”

“I’m right there with you, Min.” Yukhei laughed softly. “Nothing like the yearning for sweet sweet death.”

“It’s our generation’s pride and joy. What unites us.”

Talking to Jaemin had always been easy, he was just a friendly boy who had no problems in turning everything into a fierce debate. He questioned everything, wanting to learn, wanting to know and see. Curiosity was his middle name and Yukhei swore he would protect that boy with his life.

“No that I don’t enjoy you calling to expose our edgy selves, but I really gotta finish editing this…”

“Oh, you are a cruel man, Yukhei, I open my darkest side to you and you shut me off.” the gasp and little sounds, that wanted to resemble a nineteenth century european lady only made Yukhei’s smile grow wider. “Okay, fine. I’ll get to the point.” there was a little bit of ruffling, maybe he had moved to his bed. “I was just thinking that after finals we should all hang out? I don’t know about Donghyuck though, opening night’s right before christmas.” the last part was said with noticeable carefulness, Yukhei didn’t know how much Jaemin was let in whatever happened between the couple. But he was aware of the fragility of the situation.

“That sounds great to me.” Yukhei tried to balance a pen on his upper lip while Jaemin went on about where to meet and what shall they do.

“Mark is down whenever his finals are over, that much I know… oh!” Jaemin exhaled. “Do you think Renjun would like to join us?”

Great, a whole evening of Yukhei being a double third wheel. Fantastic, just what he needed.

“If Mark goes, Renjun will. He acts all aloof about it, but he is head over heels for the boy.” Yukhei tried, he really did try not to sound as if he didn’t care. Because he did, but he was in a bad place emotionally.

His friends weren’t to blame though.

-

Donghyuck showed up, at the end.

All wrapped around a big scarf that squished his cheeks ever so slightly, a big coat and mittens. Yes, fucking mittens. Because Donghyuck was cute like that, even if Yukhei couldn’t tell him in case ‘people got the wrong idea’.

The taller had smiled at him as a greeting, sweet and gentle. Donghyuck’s reached his eyes even though his mouth was covered. And perhaps, that was enough.

They went to the cinema, warm, filled with snacks and arcade games and needless to say, movies. Jaemin and Jeno linked their arms in a comical reenactment of medieval lovers, Renjun and Mark were too cold to expose their hands, but seemed too immersed in their own world that they left Donghyuck and Yukhei to their own devices.

Of course. How cliché.

“How’s the function coming along?” a first step forward through the thin ice.

“Stressful, I’ve never worked with that director and boy, is he strict.” off to a good start. “And peculiar. Yes, let’s just call him peculiar, becuase completely bat shit crazy would be too acurate.”

“And we don’t want our baby to learn bad words.” Yukhei nodded.

“What baby?” Donghyuck tilted his head, confusion all over his half covered face.

Yukhei pointed at Renjun just was he turned around. “Lower that goddamn finger, or I swear to God you’ll have to ask Santa for new kneecaps this year.”

“I think he knows plenty.” Donghyuck chuckled.

Maybe that was enough.

They ended up sitting next to each other, the seats comfortably worn out as the lights dimmed. Warmth emanating from the leg pressed against Yukhei’s, a head against his shoulder while the first trailers rolled, arms sneaking to hug Yukhei’s.

And it had been right there.

In a blink of an eye.

Just like when he first saw Donghyuck. In the campus cafeteria, wearing a beret and the joy of a freshman, carrying his latte while chatting with Mark.

Just like falling for him had been, quick, undoubtedly, unmistakably.

Yukhei realised that as long as Donghyuck was in his life, he would be happy.

And if all the younger had to give was cuddles, cheek kisses at mosh pits, and a moon pendant. He would take it.

Getting over Donghyuck had been easy. In the sense that Yukhei hadn’t. At all.

-

 

Breathe in and out. In and out. Easy, he had been doing that for eighteen years. Just like he had been acting for over a decade. He was good, Donghyuck knew he was, he wouldn’t have gotten into uni otherwise. But he was also human, and nerves so very happen to inhabit a human’s body.

People passed through him, some bumping his shoulder, breaking his zen moment, but the backstage was hectic. The department had hired staff, actual staff, to help the students. It made Donghyuck feel important, yet small and insignificant at the same time. He had passed the auditions against his classmates, he had gotten a role, he deserved the attention. Yet he was just one more. One of many. He didn’t have a name, he wasn’t known.

Perhaps some day.

Focus on nice things. Bright things. Memories and people.

The blueberry pie grandma used to make, mom and dad in the audience (with a banner or something of the sorts, of course they would be), that teddy bear that used to be bigger than him. Childhood, the first time he put on those green thighs to become Peter Pan. Laughter by the sea, Mark pushing him into the water with braces in his mouth.

Mark who hugged him when he got accepted. Jaemin his flatmate who bought him a potted succulent when he moved in. Jeno and his books. Renjun and his bickering.

Yukhei.

Yukhei and the memories they made. All stored in a camera, all bathed in sunlight. His sun pendant, and Yukhei’s back mole. How he alone made Donghyuck want to put rosebuds between the cracks of his walls, make them prettier for Yukhei, so he would like him better. To impress him like a fourth grader with a crush. A stupid crush.

Yukhei and his stupid big hands, holding onto Donghyuck’s while they cuddled. Yukhei and his stupid delicious baked goods, and stupid acne scars, and stupid big smile that took up his entire face, and his stupid long hair, and his stupid wardrobe choices, and his stupid voice that cracked more times than not, and his stupid pretty cheeks adorned with glitter, and his stupid, stupid massive heart of his.

“Five minutes!” a voice called. Donghyuck opened his eyes, wiping the tears daring to escape. “Everyone gather around.”

-

Jeno always smelled like he had come out of the woods, Jaemin was clean clothes and cotton soft, Mark was lime and vanilla and that deodorant teenagers use, Renjun was floral and sweet. And Yukhei was tall, having to lean down to hug Donghyuck after waiting his turn, telling him how proud he was of the actor.

Yukhei was licorice, lingering with a sandalwood scent on the back of his throat.

Mom and dad bid their goodbyes an hour after the function had ended with a tempestuous applause, cheers and whistles. They had brought him a bouquet with sunflowers and peonies, kissed his forehead and cupped his face while looking at him with the fondness only parents could muster. Happiness and pride sprinkled on those flowers.

Which did nothing to mask Yukhei’s smell.

  
  


“Who the fuck is in charge of the music?” Mark had whined out loud, his complaint muffled by loud bass and people singing along lyrics Donghyuck had never heard in his life.

He would pride himself in his vast knowledge of music, but that genre was beyond him. Still, he managed to move his body along Renjun’s, enjoying how the other would push him away because he was too sweaty, only for Donghyuck to step closer, hips first. It made Renjun chuckle until his sides hurt, so that was a win.

The party was christmas themed, even though there were a couple of days left until Hyuck had to pack his bags for a couple of weeks, to spend the holidays with his family.

Jaemin and Jeno brought a couple of cup drinks for the boys, Mark and Yukhei groaning seeing how they had been abandoned in the drink offering. The canadian native was the first to shrug and move to the kitchen himself, promising Yukhei that he wouldn’t leave him out. “Boys from the bunny year gotta stick together, don’t we?”

“You know it.” Yukhei winked at Mark, pulling Jeno closer to him so a drunken body wouldn’t spill his drink. The shorter curled under his arm as he sipped his drink. Jaemin went to cling on Yukhei’s left side in a similar manner as his boyfriend.

Donghyuck really tried to not stare, not feel anything. Conceal, don’t feel. Bullshit.

“Wait, you are older?” the koala on Yukhei’s right side asked.

“I thought it was common knowledge.” Yukhei shrugged.

It wasn’t. At least for Jeno and Jaemin who hadn’t been present the day on the cafeteria, where the four remaining boys had laughed about ID pictures. Mark had noticed the year on Yukhei’s plastic card.

“No it is fucking not. Why didn’t anyone tell me there was another octogenarian in the 00 group chat?” Donghyuck was the one to blame for that, but if he tried to defend his point of view things might get messy again. The drink in his plastic cup, berry and vodka, would have ripped the words ‘because I like him’.

Then, the music changed, and it was made clear again that they were standing in a dance floor. Well the entire house was a dance floor at that point.

Mark returned with drinks, berry and vodka too. Apparently, the only choice available. Yukhei cheered with the cocktailer before he was dragged by a very bouncy Renjun, who suddenly just wanted to dance.

Still thinking about how much of a close call that had been, Donghyuck bit his lip, trying to go back to dancing like he had been minutes before. Trying not to focus on Yukhei’s pathetic movements, all with the excuse that he was holding a drink.

Donghyuck closed his eyes, let the bass pound in his ears, the lights flickering everywhere and his feet light. A big hand on his hip, guiding him as they jumped during the chorus of the song.

Just like in that mosh pit.

Fluttering his eyes open, Donghyuck looked at Yukhei next to him. Drinking half the cup in one go, head thrown back in a laugh, the lights blinking in his cheeks and Donghyuck wanted to kiss him again. Properly this time.

And maybe the fucking berry and vodka had a point.

“Come with me.” he leaned back on his feet after standing on his tiptoes, the older nodding and taking his hand.

-

It was freezing cold, it wasn’t frostbite but it did seem like the cold pinching Donghyuck’s skin even with a shirt on. He could see his breath, touch it if he must, but it was good enough. Yeah, he had waited long enough.

“Yukhei...I” he started, the music still quite loud, even out in the balcony.

The other was looking down at his feet when Donghyuck turned to face him.

“Hey, Donghyuck!” another voice joined in, not exactly a stranger, but not a friend either.

“Hi there, Jisung.” the round cheeked boy was holding onto another kid’s hand, and by the looks of it, said boy had just been interrupted very much like Donghyuck had.

“Oh sorry, didn’t see you there.” loud as always, Jisung offered his hand for Yukhei to take. “Hello, I’m Han Jisung, a pleasure.”

But Yukhei’s hand was currently holding Donghyuck, and the latter was having none of it, squeezing it hard when Yukhei went to give Jisung a handshake. He would apologize to Jisung another day, when this was over and the weight in his heart along with the one on his gut, finally lifted.

And besides Donghyuck was cold, he wanted to do this quickly and get back already.

Yukhei bowed. “Wong Yukhei.” he was smiling shyly, unable to read the situation Donghyuck figured.

“Oh, you are the Yukhei! Donghyuck told me so much about you!” the boy behind Jisung cleared his throat. “Oh, yeah he is…”

“Jisung.” Donghyuck made the blue haired turned with his stern tone. “I’d love to meet however you were making out with, but we… _I_ need to talk to Yukhei in private.”

“Oh…” Jisung was not dumb by any means, his smile dropped for a second before being replaced with a smirk. “Then we’ll leave you two lovebirds to it.”

“We are not…” Yukhei defended himself, finally breaking free from Donghyuck’s hold. He turned to follow Jisung and his boy on the way back. “We are not boyfriends!” but they didn’t hear him over the music.

Yukhei turned to Donghyuck. “Because we aren’t, right? We are just friends. Platonic friends. Who cuddle and whatnot. I also do that with Kun, you know? Cuddling. Well at least I did until Johnny showed up, now the couch is too cramped, but still.”

Donghyuck didn’t know if either to laugh or cry. On one hand Yukhei rambling had always been terribly endearing to watch, like a kitten who gets all tangled in a thread, only to look up with big eyes waiting for help. Donghyuck didn’t have the heart for this, maybe a little too tipsy to deal what he had set up himself. He wanted to cry. What the hell was he even attempting?

He had no script, no guidelines. Because fuck it, who follows one when they are in love.

“Is that what you want us to be? Just friends?” Donghyuck hated how miniscule he sounded, how devastated yet desperate.

“I thought that was what you wanted us to be.” Yukhei said nonchalantly, but his lip quivered.

Could be the cold though.

And Donghyuck sighed, teared his gaze away and thought. Against the cloud of tipsiness he analyzed what Yukhei just said, what he was about to do, what was happening. There was only one mere feeling that rose.

Anger.

At himself and his useless mouth that had spewed that bullshit while baking. Of course Yukhei had took it the wrong way, the worst way actually. He was right in that there had been something, at least. That Yukhei had had hopes just like Donghyuck had. And he had crushed them.

“Shit, sorry Hyuck.” Yukhei stepped closer and how the fuck was he so warm during a December night out in the open. “Don’t cry please.”

Donghyuck swatted away the hand that was wiping his tears. “No! Fuck you!” he tried to push the other away, who bounced back but didn’t move. “Fuck you for making me believe you never wanted to be with me in the first place! For not saying anything! For letting me do all that platonic shit to you without wanting to change it, for making me believe that you were fine with being friends!”

“Donghyuck.”

“I know I’m being unfair and selfish but, it hurt Yukhei, it hurt. And now I’m drunk and crying because fuck you I am happy. I’m happy, holy shit. Because you want to be more than friends with me and that makes me happy.” he slurred, sniffling through the words. Between his tears he could see Yukhei getting closer, when he closed them he felt arms around him and he sighed.

“I would say I’m sorry. But I could say the same to you dumbass, so we are even.” Donghyuck punched his back softly as we sneaked his arms around the other.

When he nuzzled Yukhei’s neck he yelped in surprise, pulling away with tear stained cheeks, complaining how his nose was like an ice cube.

And then they laughed. Like the two fucking morons they were. Yukhei hugged him again, Hyuck pulled him closer. His heart did somersaults, his head hiccuped drunk but cheered him on, clearly whatever was happening was good. Even if nothing changed, it was good.

“You know that’s not how I’d hope I’d confess to you.” Yukhei said against Donghyuck’s jaw.

And the shorter was appalled. Because Yukhei liked cheesy rom-coms with happy endings, everyone did, but he had a vision he wanted people to believe in those happy endings, make them plausible, tangible. Yukhei deserved to live a happy ending, one that put movies to shame.

So Donghyuck shook his head. “No, no my good sir, that’s not how’s going to go down.” His finger poking at the pendant, eyes traveling up. “I’m tipsy, you are tipsy, it’s cold and it’s nighttime. We are not doing this right now.”

Yukhei still had his arms around his waist, eyebrow arched he inquired. “Oh really, then tell me how are we going to do it?”

“Tomorrow you invite me over for dinner, we cuddle on the couch and I tell you exactly what’s on my mind and heart over a b-class christmas movie. You do your thing too, make me cry again because, you only know how to make me cry apparently.” Yukhei pouted after a ‘hey!’ and Donghyuck wanted to kiss him, oh god how much he wanted to kiss him.  Instead, he put his finger on his lips and proceeded. “We will kiss and you will tell me you love me in chinese.”

Yukhei let out a chuckle again, wholeheartedly, pulling Donghyuck closer once more. This time his cheek rested on top of his head and nodded.

-

 

Yukhei worked with a plan, a guideline, a script. He liked following it to the tee, not missing a step and enjoying the changes it might bring. Happy accidents perhaps. But, he figured as Donghyuck kissed him for the nth time (“once every minute! That’s my new year’s resolution”) the bed dipping with the added weight, that he couldn’t just put the younger in the same jar. That sometimes loving someone like Donghyuck didn’t come with instructions, and it made Yukhei brave. Brave to say fuck it, fuck stability, fuck secure;  and tear the world a part with the boy by his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> that was a horrible ending i am so sorry but still!! i hope you enjoyed it! thanks for reading! hit me up @moonsdior on twitter or on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/youngghos)


End file.
